In my head, this is what I look like. Reality is so cruel
What did the dry erase marker say to the blackboard? Nothing! Dry erase markers don’t chalk.
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How dare my stomach say it’s hungry when it’s got plenty of fat to eat instead.
- My fat self.
I’m just done….
This year is my year. No more being the fat girlfriend. No more binge eating. No more being a doormat. No more. I’m gonna give myself the greatest gift and the only gift I want. The body I’ve always wanted. That peace of mind again. That person who I use to be. She’ll be back.
Here it is Christmas….and I’m being ignored….fine, I’ll show you.
I wanna confuses to feeling like shit and so much more….but my mouth won’t make the words and my mind tells me I’m guilty for feeling this way….
The way the mind works
12/19
I just binged after being sick for 5 days when the only thing I’ve basically had was hot teas. I’m extremely disappointed in myself and I really hate myself. Tomorrow is a new day. Back to fasting. Back to long workouts. Back to everything. I’m just so sick of looking the way I do. And maybe if I lose the weight and slim down….maybe someone will see I’m struggling. Someone will worry. The only thing I can control…..is myself. Sick or not. This is what I have to do…
I feel like giving in….it’s just getting worse…so what’s holding me back?
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